Monday, November 21, 2011


We don't always see the chaos in our lives coming, but when we do it somehow tends to be far more insane and far more of an opportunity than we suspect.

I have nothing solid to base what I feel at this moment on. No new direction, no proof, nothing but the knowledge that I am moving beyond anything that I used to be. A redefinition out of a crisis? Perhaps.

What is it about people that traps them away from uncertainty, confines them in a world where the next thing must always be accomplished? Is that truly a satisfying way to live? What is the purpose of it? Perhaps it is simply fear. Perhaps we constantly hold onto that which we fear to lose, to the point where it doesn't matter if it's already lost. It does not matter if the truth lies in a different direction than what we have chosen to do, because we made a choice, and we keep doing what is necessary to further that choice. But to what end?

At what point does this attitude begin getting imposed on others? When do people figure their lives out, and decide that others must have these habits, this set of rules to live by, and at what point does our compassion become so diluted by our conviction that neither truly exist anymore? Is what is functional in life all that matters? Are we really human doings?

I choose to never be complete. I choose to never have all of the things accomplished that I want to do, simply because there will always be something else, something new. I choose to always respect other paths, especially ones that would seek to bring down oppression on me. One cannot run from reality. It will crush you if you try. The only option is to stand your ground, and face it. Watch as your flaws and mistakes are all pointed out, watch as the trap is sprung, and then stand in defiance, no matter what you may lose from standing.

What is smart is not always what is right. Our intelligence, our logic, our decisions cannot account for all of life. Don't even try to think that it can, and use them as tools, not ultimatums. With logic you can enslave, and with logic you can free. It all comes down to the fact that when you talk to another person, you are aware of their soul, of their right to live, of their ability to make all of the wrong decisions and become a more or less complete person, as they see fit.

If our goal becomes to further actualize each other, further bring each other into the truth, then confrontation can take on a good tone, because truth by its' nature will confront us as well. However, if our goal is to remake others in our image, we will most certainly fail at showing the compassion we may intend.

Sometimes in life, we're shoved in one direction and we simply have to take a wildly different one. Because we realize that our life is slipping away from us, that we can't do it anymore, and that if we do, we will die. Not all at once, but little by little we become hollowed out versions of who we used to be. We stop caring, and we stop living. That is a crisis.

Sometimes, you simply have to persist in ways loathsome to others. Because it is your way, and the only other option is to cease living.

Live in freedom.

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